It’s been over a year since I got myself involved in an accident. The accident’s common, in fact, one might be involved in it right now. Motorcycle accident, yes it is common. Philippines’ flocked with this high-flying, open muffler, insanely set-up scooters. With traffic jams that match those of clocks that already ran out of battery, a motorcycle is a solution indeed. I’m one of the people who thought motorcycle was a good idea despite all the recent accidents I have heard and seen. You have to get first hand experience on things sometime to learn a lesson.
Everyone knows that there are two main lanes on a typical road, the one where
you travel and one for the vehicles going the other way. That night, twelfth of
September, year 2011, around 6 in the evening, I’m running on the lane that was
not busy at the time, the opposing lane, going straight to the town is
experiencing heavy traffic. The next vehicle I can see in front of me on the
same lane might more or less be 500 meters away, so I drive half dead.
Slight rainfall caused enough sleek on roads, though I’m sure that wasn’t on my mind then, I’m running on 20 – 25 km/h, and my brain wandered on lots of other things. To be honest, I’m not even sure if I had my eyes on the road when the accident occurred. I have vague pictures of what happened, a vehicle suddenly appeared in front of me after I woke up from my daydream, I remember pressing hard on both breaks, felt the rubber tire on my rear wheel skid and slide sideways to my left, losing control after trying so hard to evade the incoming vehicle, a head on collision, a loud crash and myself getting thrown forward about 4 meters from where we collided. Then I stood, like nothing happened, and I felt nothing. Adrenaline they say would numb your senses, and it did. I could’ve died and I felt nothing. I walked and looked at the damaged motorcycle, it was bad, but I had other things in mind, first day of work tomorrow, and the thought of what would happen next. I walked 4 meters without noticing I have blood gushing from my chin, that I have multiple scratches on both my ankles, that I’m bruised everywhere and that my left foot’s bones are visible from a big open wound. I did not even notice I wasn’t wearing both my slippers. I walked and tried to talk to the man who was driving the other vehicle, lots of things transpired, I cursed a lot; I cursed him, and talked even more. Reality dawned, my body coped with what happened, and pain started crawling in, my tummy hurts like somebody just gave me a kick in the gut. My vision’s blacking out. I was brought to the hospital. Got my wound stitched. Well it was all too much to tell.
Slight rainfall caused enough sleek on roads, though I’m sure that wasn’t on my mind then, I’m running on 20 – 25 km/h, and my brain wandered on lots of other things. To be honest, I’m not even sure if I had my eyes on the road when the accident occurred. I have vague pictures of what happened, a vehicle suddenly appeared in front of me after I woke up from my daydream, I remember pressing hard on both breaks, felt the rubber tire on my rear wheel skid and slide sideways to my left, losing control after trying so hard to evade the incoming vehicle, a head on collision, a loud crash and myself getting thrown forward about 4 meters from where we collided. Then I stood, like nothing happened, and I felt nothing. Adrenaline they say would numb your senses, and it did. I could’ve died and I felt nothing. I walked and looked at the damaged motorcycle, it was bad, but I had other things in mind, first day of work tomorrow, and the thought of what would happen next. I walked 4 meters without noticing I have blood gushing from my chin, that I have multiple scratches on both my ankles, that I’m bruised everywhere and that my left foot’s bones are visible from a big open wound. I did not even notice I wasn’t wearing both my slippers. I walked and tried to talk to the man who was driving the other vehicle, lots of things transpired, I cursed a lot; I cursed him, and talked even more. Reality dawned, my body coped with what happened, and pain started crawling in, my tummy hurts like somebody just gave me a kick in the gut. My vision’s blacking out. I was brought to the hospital. Got my wound stitched. Well it was all too much to tell.
I survived. End of story? No, the hardest part is yet to come. I caused more
pain than all my wounds have brought me. It was a big mess and I had lots of family
and non-family involved. It could’ve been easier if I only had the wounds to
worry me. I stayed silent, because I can do nothing. What would be the best
action? I laughed over the event and pretended I was well, I’m not, and inside,
I know, all I am was a disappointment. Instinct overcame morale; I pitied
myself, which is the stupidest, yes, STUPIDEST thing to do at the time.
Trying to regain myself, come
Monday, a week after the accident, I reported for work. First question was, if
I can attend the training on such a condition, I answered: YES, though I’m not
really sure. I am having troubles walking properly, people look when they see
you walk limply, making very little progress, you walk past them and they’re
still looking. They pretend not to look when you meet their eyes, which I find
amusing. I walk, I have other things in mind, and these people are the least of
my concerns.
Struggling for over three
more weeks, it took me some time to walk from one place to another. Alone, I
can think while walking, I remember doing the same when I was riding the
motorcycle the night the accident occurred. The only difference is that I
wasn’t moving fast this time, and I’m taking each step with care and ease. If
only I had given my thoughts enough time, the results could have been
different. I thought of Buddha who found enlightenment through meditating and
sitting under the tree, I could do mine while walking. I have to probably walk
millions of miles and hope that I find enlightenment someday. Think of life as
if walking on wires, impossible, yet still true.
Those days were the only
times in my life I have had any difficulties in walking. I can walk as long as
I can remember; wounds on knees did not stop me from running when I was a kid.
I run fast, and maybe I have done the same in my life that I move on to the
next pace without hesitation, without thinking. I was a little bit too fast
that I had to be slowed.
