A Love Story 2

Ever heard of Heinz Karl Klinkermann? He is a nobody, so you might not have heard. A German immigrant in Australia, married to a woman named Beryl Klinkermann. I don’t know their story the way I know my parents'. I happen to get pass by this certain news online while on job. I work for an Australian company, so a visit on the company’s website is a typical everyday task. I like reading the news on their side of the earth so I browse through them whenever I’m at work. A second love story I guess.


Parkinson's disease is a disorder of the brain that leads to shaking (tremors) and difficulty with walking, movement, and coordination. Parkinson's disease most often develops after age 50. It is one of the most common nervous system disorders of the elderly. Sometimes Parkinson's disease occurs in younger adults. It affects both men and women. (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001762/)
Dementia is a loss of brain function that occurs with certain diseases. It affects memory, thinking, language, judgment, and behavior. (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001748/)


Beryl Klinkermann suffers from both. In the end, Heinz tried murder-suicide with the use of Sleeping Pills and Carbon Monoxide poisoning. It failed as nurses found them the next morning, along with a three-page note. “What’s the point of going on?” That’s what Heinz’ said. The deed was tried in Victorian Supreme Court in Ballarat. Court Justice could have given him 25 years in prison but he was only entered in an 18-month community corrections order that includes medical and mental rehabilitation.


“Heinz had made a promise to her that he would never put her in a nursing home. He took this promise very seriously and would never renege on it,” said in a court proceeding by Heinz’ step-daughter Leonie Sudiro from a previous marriage. An entry on Heinz diary on the day of the tragic event states: “It’s time, I’m ready. It may sound tragic but that’s how it is. I’ll see how the day turns out I can’t watch my Beryl slipping away anymore. I want to go with her. Goodbye, farewell.”


I am in no position to judge anyone in here. All I can say is that I was touched by the story. How a man can love a woman that much. To not be able to take her suffering and simply decide it’s time to go at the same time, because he won’t be able to continue without her. The judges see through that. I’m pretty sure they felt Mr. Klinkermann was no public menace. It is love that drove him to do whatever he has done. He held her hands while everything was happening. Just like a true love story. I cried when I read what happened. I won’t know what to do in case I get in the same circumstances. I hate to speak out what I feel. Who wants that anyway? And who would want to read? I guess I’m still chicken on these things. I cry easily.


Remember the movie UP? He looks like Mr. Fredrickson yes. I was touched by the movie yes. Heinz loves his wife just the same, they have different stories, but the love's the same. Their love is a thing of beauty. I am moved.


In the end, when the time comes, I just want to love my vowed partner the same.


Excerpts from: (Kill bid an act of love: husband walks free after failed murder-suicide By PAT NOLAN) and go.bigpond.com/NEWS

Words I Wish I Wrote

Now I never meant,
To do you wrong,
That’s what I came here to say.

But if I was wrong,
Then I’m sorry,
I don’t let it stand in our way.

As my head just aches,
When I think of,
The things that I shouldn’t have done.

But Life is for Living,
We all know,
And I don’t want to live it alone.

-Coldplay


God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen.

-Reinhold Niebuhr

these are Words I wish I wrote. The idea came from Robert Fulghum's book.

I simply love the coldplay song which came from their first album Parachutes(2000). A hidden track right after the song Everything's not Lost. I heard it first in the album Mylo Xyloto(2011) as an additional Live Track. The song speaks for itself.

That prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr for me sounds pretty much like Our Father. Coming from a man, it reflects the other side of the prayer. The one who was thought of the prayer. Our Father came from Jesus, therefore the one who thought it. I like being the man side of this story, and how much that prayer reflects myself as a flawed human being wanting only contentment and change.

A Love Story

I've heard of true love stories. I know just this one.


Love stories can be extraordinary, portrayed with lights and colors and all, gifts and surprises and material things. Movies can be deceiving. This love story is simple, ordinary, it did not end the way I wanted it. Who the hell said love stories end up happily? Love was enough. It was just right.


There's this man, who grew up in the city, a kid who knew poverty and faced it head on. He wasn't a good guy.


Then there's this woman, who grew up in the province, a girl who worked her way to have a meal, she was a good woman.


They met sometime in the '80s, even attended EDSA people power. What a date, I say. Don't know much about the courting process. They got married, a civil wedding attended by a few good friends and relatives.


They built a family, they started from scratch. The man did construction works for extra, while being a full time pedicab driver. The year's 1988, their first son was born, premature but made it through. The man then got a job with the help of his brother, an assembler in a car manufacturer nearby. They got their second son in 1989, pretty fast eh? Through hard work, the man got regularized and his job was more than enough to keep his growing family steady. In 1991 the third son was born, then in 1993, their first daughter. Lastly in 1994, their youngest son.


They went through every thing normal parents experience with their kids. It wasn't always easy or happy, but that's the way married life is.


In the end, someone has to leave. Only in true life will you ever see a love end, physically, not mentally. Because love stays in the heart and soul. It still hurts anyway, you'll wish you never have to place your feet upon these things.


February 2005 the good woman got an illness, unknown. She went through lots of tests. In the end she died, of cancer. The man never left her bed. Although he wasn't good in expressing what he feels, even if he says things that are contrary to what's inside his heart, you'll see in his actions that he love her with all his life.


In her last minutes she suffered from a massive cardiac arrest, add to that the loss of oxygen in her brain, she was in a state of stroke. She can't speak. She was heavily breathing, she lost her control on human excretion. What she had inside her for weeks, things that can't get out due to the malignant cancer, all poured out at once. And he simply cleaned everything, oblivious to the fact that it was waste he has in his bare hands. She had to be cleansed, that's what's in his mind. He never complained, he was just there, silently working. Praying for her to be spared. Crying inside his mind. He never left her. After a few minutes, from labored to silent breathing, she passed on. His love along with it. But her memory stays in his heart.


One of the last few words the man heard from the woman those days were, "You're always enough.."


He never left her side, he was with her in the last few moments before she's dressed and groomed. I can remember him talking about this in a brave manner, talking in details. I'm sure he was crying all the time, when all this was happening. I don't ever want to stand in his shoe, and I don't know how I could manage to, if ever I'm placed there.

I remember him crying once. He was outside, coming in the backdoor, eyes swollen and almost speechless. What he told me before breaking into tears broke my heart, "I miss your mom.."


I broke into my own set of tears afterwards. And yes, they were my parents.